In this issue:

• Guilty pleasures: the science behind saying “yes”

• What the psychologists say The myth of “bad” food

• Our favorite guilty pleasures

• The case for a lazy afternoon

The joyful, science-backed case for saying “yes”

The next time you say, “I really shouldn’t...,” let it be your cue to go ahead and do it. Guilt-free.

We all know that intoxicating thrill of doing something that we've decided somewhere along the line is "bad." The second helping. The trashy show you'd never admit you love. The afternoon nap that turns into two blissful hours.

We may call these guilty pleasures, as if joy needs a confession. But maybe it's time to let go of the guilt and simply immerse ourselves in the joy they offer.

For me, there's an ever-growing list that starts with getting my bed linens professionally ironed. Then there’s the parade of what I once considered “off-limits” foods (fried shrimp), desserts (anything), and the like. Read on to discover that there’s space in our lives right now for these forbidden fruits.

Today, with the heat index soaring over 100°, I’m opting for my iced spiced lavender mocha to keep things cool.

— Pam Miller, Editor-in-Chief

What the psychologists say

Turns out, the guilt is the only part worth losing.

It turns out guilt never did us any favors. Researchers who study stress, pleasure, and connection have spent years trying to understand why small indulgences feel so good, yet we still react as if we’ve done something terrible. The answer may surprise you — it turns out to be less "willpower failure" and more "your brain doing exactly what it's supposed to do."

Media psychologist Leonard Reinecke has studied what happens when we're mentally "spent" after a demanding day, a state researchers call "ego depletion." His work suggests that low-stakes entertainment and small treats act as a reset button, helping the brain recover from a dwindling willpower "muscle" more quickly than more effortful downtime. There's a catch, though: his research also found that people only get the full benefit when they let themselves enjoy it without labeling it as wasted or indulgent time.

Then there's the guilt itself.

Vanderbilt marketing professor Kelly Goldsmith studied how guilt affects pleasure and found that it amplifies it. A little guilt seems to become cognitively fused with enjoyment, so the two appear together; the key word is little. Beyond a certain point, guilt stops enhancing the experience and starts undoing it.

There's also a social angle that often goes unspoken. Research led by psychologist Shira Gabriel at the University at Buffalo found that our attachments to favorite shows, characters, and familiar rituals can serve as a stand-in for companionship. Researchers call this a "symbolic relationship." These connections have been shown to buffer against loneliness, which is especially helpful when we're spending more time alone than we'd like.

Self-compassion researcher Kristin Neff, whose work is widely cited in the psychology of self-acceptance, notes that letting yourself enjoy things without judgment helps protect against burnout. Small, unearned indulgences are a quiet way of telling yourself that you don't have to be productive every waking hour to deserve to feel good.

The myth of "bad" food

Judgment is self-imposed

When I was studying nutrition at Cornell, one of the most useful insights I took away wasn't scientific — it was learning to let go of the idea that food has a moral compass. Yes, we need to be mindful, especially when it comes to health and prevention. But when we can’t resist the fries or decide that only a donut will taste good for breakfast, remember: it’s one out of twenty-one meals that week.

All said, moderation is key.

Beyond the classroom, I’ve learned something else: intuitive eating is my guiding star. Not surprisingly, it teaches that no food is inherently good or bad. Food is fuel, comfort, culture, and joy, all at once. It isn't a moral failing.

According to Cedars-Sinai, intuitive eating is “an evidence-based, anti-diet framework designed to heal your relationship with food. It teaches you to reject diet culture, honor your internal hunger and fullness cues, and choose foods that satisfy you without guilt. The goal is physical and mental well-being, not weight loss.” 

I can attest that it works, and weight loss can happen once you recognize what your body wants. And to clarify, when intuitive eating rejects the diet culture, these are the fad diets that impose restriction — not health-related plans such as the Mediterranean, MIND, and DASH diets.

No matter what food you break down into its basic elements, you get the same building blocks: carbohydrates, fats, proteins, vitamins, and minerals. Your body doesn't know or care whether the sugars it's processing came from an apple or a cookie. The "good" and "bad" labels aren't nutritional facts. They're judgments we've layered on top, and dietitians and researchers have found that this layer often backfires.

Forget the shame or guilt. Attaching morality to eating can quietly breed anxiety and self-blame and, in some cases, feed disordered patterns around food. That same anxiety can trigger cortisol production, which can make us crave sugar and carbohydrates. That means the very thing you’re trying to avoid can become a powerful craving.

Stop the all-or-nothing cycle. Thinking you've been "bad" for having a treat often leads to overdoing it later. Keeping all foods on the table in reasonable amounts tends to quiet cravings rather than fuel them.

Remember, it’s context, not character. What your body needs to fuel a long hike is different from what it needs for a desk job — but neither choice says anything about your discipline or your worth.

The more useful question isn't "is this food good or bad?" but "how does this make me feel, and does it fit the life I'm building?" Many nutritionists advocate an 80/20 approach — nutrient-dense food most of the time, with room for indulgence without a guilt tax — as far more sustainable than a strict list of allowed and forbidden foods.

Our favorite guilty pleasures

Once you take a look, you’ll see that these so-called guilty pleasures are anything but shameful: 

Open-house tourism. Spending a Sunday wandering through houses you have absolutely no intention of buying. Free, a little nosy, and oddly relaxing.

The grocery store sample-table circuit. Some readers admit to taking a full lap or maybe two at Costco, with no intention of buying what they taste.

A fancy coffee or tea drink sipped in a quiet place so every bit of it is enjoyed. My fave is an iced raspberry mocha latte — like a dessert you eat with a straw.

Hoarding hotel toiletries from a stay, saving them for "someday." 

A second breakfast later in the morning that nobody else needs to know about.

Buying a single slice of birthday cake because there’s always something to celebrate, right?.

Reading the last page of a novel first, just to make sure it turns out all right before committing to the book.

Getting wildly competitive over a daily word puzzle in a group chat (and quietly Googling the answer).

Watching the same movie for the enth time, subtitles on, even though you know every line by heart.

Binge-watching several seasons of a show on a rainy day. (Thank you, Schitt’s Creek.)

Chatting with AI online or conversational AI like Siri or Alexa to talk about anything without judgment.

A solo drive with the windows down and the radio turned up, singing loudly to a song you'd never admit to liking.

Buying yourself flowers, no occasion required, just because you wanted them.

Designing your best life: the lazy afternoon

Notice how many of these small pleasures have nothing to do with accomplishment or extravagance. They’re a special kind of gift to ourselves. Nobody is judging. Nobody really notices. An open-house tour doesn't end in a purchase. A sample-table meal doesn't end in a shopping bag (well, maybe). It's just pleasure, dressed up as an everyday event so it feels allowed.

So much of what we're told to value is measurable; the steps taken, the pounds lost, the boxes checked. A completely useless afternoon measures nothing, and, according to research on guilt and pleasure, may do more for your mood than an accomplished day. Consider it your excuse to keep doing the impractical, wonderful things you already do.

_{The content provided here is for general informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider before making any changes to your health routine, and never disregard professional medical advice based on information you read here.}