Hello caring readers! In this issue:

• Caring for them means caring for yourself, too

• Basic, adaptable bean soup recipe

• A caregiver’s story

• A group of seniors improving Wikipedia

Caring for them means caring for yourself, too

I’ve been there. And if you’re reading this, chances are you or someone you know has, too.

Being a caregiver for a loved one is fraught with contradictions. You feel needed. You feel alone. It’s rewarding. It’s frustratingly challenging. And these emotions can hit you all at once, and even at the same time.

As caregivers, we must be prepared to navigate this bumpy road of ups and downs and its complex emotional, physical, and logistical demands. We need to do it with grace and kindness while taking care of ourselves. But how?

This guide offers practical ideas for providing comfort, compassion, and companionship while taking care of yourself along the way.

The caregiver's journey

This act of love rarely follows a predictable path. What might begin as occasional help with errands can suddenly turn into 24/7 support. Recognizing the erratic nature of this journey is the first step in setting realistic goals and expectations. 

Create a structured routine to gain a sense of security for your loved one. For you, it builds efficiency. Regular routines for medications, meals, hygiene, and rest lead to some predictability that can reduce anxiety and confusion, particularly for those with cognitive impairments.

Communicate with compassion by actively listening without interruption or judgment. Even when cognitive abilities are impaired, emotional intelligence often remains intact. 

TIP: Use simple, clear language without being patronizing. Speak directly to your loved one and avoid talking to others about them in their presence.

Promote independence by encouraging your loved one to handle tasks they can manage safely. This preserves dignity, maintains functional abilities, and reduces dependency. If possible, change their environment by adding supportive equipment. 

Document everything important by keeping detailed records of:

• Medication schedules and reactions

• Healthcare appointments and outcomes

• Changes in symptoms or behaviors

• Insurance communications

• Financial transactions related to care

Build or find a support network by identifying family members, friends, neighbors, and community resources. This can provide some time off for you or help with specific chores. 

TIP: Create a shared calendar for meals, transportation, or respite care. This can reduce your load, give you time for yourself, and prevent burnout.

Essential self-care practices

Perfect caregiving is impossible. Set boundaries on what you can realistically provide, and be willing to accept help or explore alternative care arrangements when necessary.

Prioritize your health. Neglecting your health ultimately compromises your ability to provide quality care:

• Schedule and keep your own medical appointments 

• Maintain healthy sleep habits 

• Get enough physical activity 

Process your emotions. Caregiving is an investment of love, resentment, grief, satisfaction, and frustration. Be kind to yourself; a lot is being demanded of you. 

TIP: Join a local support group where others understand what you’re going through.

Take time out. Your well-being is essential, so give yourself time to renew, refresh, and relax. 

TIP: Arrange for someone to take over for you so you can step away completely. Many state and local governments offer respite care programs.

Practice small moments of self-care if long breaks aren't possible:

• Do five minutes of deep breathing

• Take a quick walk around the block

• Journal a single page

• Call a supportive friend

• Relax with a favorite beverage 

Learn more about self-care.

Connect with resources in your area or contact a nurse advocate at a local hospital for information about:

• Home health agencies

• Government caregiver programs

• Adult daycare programs

• Meal delivery services

• Transportation assistance

• Financial assistance programs

Caregiver training can be a valuable use of your time. In addition, you’ll find support workshops are available throughout the country. Some disease- and disorder-specific nonprofits offer caregiver support; search for these online.

Food is love (and fuel)

When I was caring for my mother, remembering to eat was almost more of a challenge than feeding her. Once I put my meals on a schedule, my energy and disposition improved greatly. And I learned some things along the way.

Eat together when possible

A speech pathologist recommended that I purchase a dysphagia cup. With this, my mother could feed herself without worrying about spills… and I could eat with her. This added a sense of normalcy, intimacy, and dignity. Check with a healthcare professional to ensure an assistive cup or utensils are right for your loved one.

If you need to hand-feed, either have a healthy snack while preparing their food, or keep something within reach, like a protein bar, sliced fruit with a nut butter, or cut-up veggies and hummus. 

Cook in bulk and freeze

Because of her advanced age, my mother’s food had to be pureed. To keep mealtime interesting, I wanted to serve her something different for lunch and dinner, and vary the flavor profiles. While it may sound like a lot of trouble, it wasn’t.

Homemade soup was at the top of my go-to list. 

• Homemade soup is nutritious and filling, especially if it includes animal or plant protein.

• Soups with legumes like lentils, black beans, or split peas provide fiber that can help with regularity and slow down digestion, keeping one feeling fuller for longer.

• Soups can be frozen flat in single servings.

• Any soup is possible, even if you’re pureeing, like beef barley soup, egg drop soup, and cream soups (substitute cream with milk).

ADVANTAGES: Soups are easily pureed, nutritious, and flavorful. They also freeze well and can provide enough variety to keep mealtime interesting.

If you like this content…

This week’s topic is a perfect time to introduce another newsletter we love, The Dementia Newsletter.

Caring for a loved one with dementia can feel isolating—but you’re not alone. The Dementia Newsletter is a free bi-weekly publication that offers practical tips, emotional support, and expert guidance to help you navigate caregiving with better information, more confidence, and less stress. Subscribe today:

Feeding the elderly

If you’re caring for an elderly person:

• Keep them well-hydrated. Water is just as important as solid nutrition, so keep it within reach and offer it regularly throughout the day.

• Focus on nutrient-dense, easy-to-eat food, with special attention to any needs due to conditions. 

• Soft proteins like Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, eggs, fish, and tender meats are easier to chew and provide nutrient-rich meals.

• Add healthy fats like avocados, olive oil, and nut butters to maintain calorie intake, regardless of the size of the portions.

• Smoothies can be extremely nutritious by adding ingredients like protein powder, fruit, vegetables, and/or healthy fats. 

Learn more about feeding the elderly.

Additional reading

Beyond self-care: 7 Tips on how caregivers can enjoy life more

Kitchen Hacks You Wish You Knew Sooner - (LLS) Nutrition

7 Hacks Family Caregivers Should Know 

A caregiver’s story

My name is Patricia, and this is my caregiver story. I care for my mother, Lucille, a breast cancer survivor. She suffers from crippling arthritis, rendering her unable to walk. She is still sharp in mind and a joy to be around. Also, a never-ending mom who worries about her babies.

The difficult part is missing grocery store shopping that we used to enjoy. Now I only have time to run to the store and get what’s needed, no time to browse. But as I type this, I realize we do spend quality time eating together. But I really miss hanging out… Keep reading

Today’s fun fact: The Czech seniors improving Wikipedia

(Image by Gampe and used under the Creative Commons License via Wikimedia)

A little over 10 years ago, the Municipal Library in Prague started organizing local seniors to edit articles for the ubiquitous free encyclopedia, Wikipedia. The program targets seniors who want to remain active and social, giving them the training to use their lifetime of knowledge to enhance this free resource for humanity.

The collaboration is a no-brainier. The participants get the benefit of sharing their lifetime of experience for the next generations and community with other editors. Wikipedia gets better with the benefit of their knowledge and free time.

The program that started with a handful of seniors and library volunteers a decade ago has expanded to hundreds of editors across the Czech Republic.

Question for our readers:

Would you be interested in doing something like this if Tapestry helped organize it? Reply and let us know.

How are you going to take care of yourself today?